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What's the worst joke you've ever heard?

Discussion in 'Joke Forum' started by CuteFunnyMan, Oct 8, 2010.

  1. Grandpa Weatherbie

    Grandpa Weatherbie Well-Known Member

    I gave Napoleon some spare change and nice set of high heels, He asked why and I told him that I heard he was running a little short.
     
  2. Pookie

    Pookie Well-Known Member

    A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I do this," and then stabs himself with a fork.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  3. Mongo The Clown

    Mongo The Clown Active Member

    "Do you like to rhumba?"
    "Yes."
    "Well pick a rhumba between one and ten!"

    Groucho Marx
     
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  4. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    Parallel lines have so much in common,
    it's a shame they're never gonna meet.
     
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  5. Pookie

    Pookie Well-Known Member

    Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "I'll drive and you man the guns!"
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 1
  6. Barry Daft (Mr. B. Daft)

    Barry Daft (Mr. B. Daft) Old Bucket Spitter

    Here is pretty good bad joke.

    What was Postman Pat called when he retired?

    Pat.
     
  7. Barry Daft (Mr. B. Daft)

    Barry Daft (Mr. B. Daft) Old Bucket Spitter

    Corduroy Pillows; they're making headlines.

    There are 2 types of people in the world, those who can extrapolate results from incomplete data.

    What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

    The police have said they want to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers. But the chief constable says they have to wear their normal uniforms.

    A skeleton walks up to the bar, orders a pint of bitter...and a mop.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2016
  8. NatetheGreat

    NatetheGreat New Member

    What do you call a dog with no legs?

    .... You can call it a lot of things, but it still won't come to you.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  9. Pookie

    Pookie Well-Known Member

    A man in a restaurant says "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"

    The waiter said "So, ask him to split the check."
     
  10. Pookie

    Pookie Well-Known Member

    I once told a date that if I was late, go ahead and start without me.

    When I got there not only had she started without me, but she was half-way done!
     
  11. Pookie

    Pookie Well-Known Member

    I tried to do my imitation of E. F. Hutton, but when I spoke no one listened...
     
  12. Grandpa Weatherbie

    Grandpa Weatherbie Well-Known Member

    I can't tell if my grand kids are a lot like me or I'm a lot like 4 year olds.
     
  13. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Pilgrims
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  14. Grandpa Weatherbie

    Grandpa Weatherbie Well-Known Member

    It's okay to laugh with a broken foot!

    What do you call a Ghost with a broken foot? A Hoblin Goblin

    What do you call a frog with a broken foot> Unhoppy.

    Are you still on the mend?
     
  15. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    Thanks Gramps. Total ankle replacement is a success. I'm back to piano tuning and clowning. Probably won't go back to nursing though.

    I once saw a guy banging the side of his head on the piano keys. He said he only plays the piano by ear. Ouch!
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2016
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  16. Pookie

    Pookie Well-Known Member

    A cop pulled me over for speeding. He asked me where the fire was. So I told him it was over on 2nd and Elm...
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 1
  17. Pookie

    Pookie Well-Known Member

    Not sure if this qualified...

    As my wife and I were entering a store, a mother with two children exited. She told the oldest not to run in the parking lot or they would get hit by a car. The child turned to ask the mother what she said, and ran into a parked car.

    I tried really, really, really hard not to laugh. Really!!
     

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