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Science Jokes...

Discussion in 'Joke Forum' started by Freckles McFinigin, Apr 22, 2012.

  1. Freckles McFinigin

    Freckles McFinigin New Member

    The first scientist said to his lab partner, "You have any sodium hypobromite?"

    He replied, "Na Bro."

    (NaBrO= Sodium Hypobromite)

    Feel free to post your own or enjoy the (nerd) show.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2012
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  2. I wish you good luck in the real world, getting a laugh with that joke. You really should not have to explain why the punch line is funny to your audience.
     
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  3. tim

    tim Have red nose, will travel

    But at the chemists' convention, he's a real riot!
     
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  4. Plywood

    Plywood New Member

    Cut him some slack, geesh! If you use that with the right audience, they'll love it! Who doesn't like a good inside joke?
     
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  5. tim

    tim Have red nose, will travel

    And if they don't like it, or it falls upon the wrong audience, then they will just barium!
     
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  6. SmartiiTheClown

    SmartiiTheClown Well-Known Member

    Two ions are talking one says to the other "I think I dropped an electron" the other says "are you sure?" And he replies "yes I'm positive"

    F=w/b X 10*3 walks into a bar and asks for a snack, the barman says "sorry you'll have to leave, we don't cater for functions"

    Smartii
     
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  7. Plywood is quite right, I apologise, Freckles. I should not be wishing you luck getting laughs with that joke, this is a science based thread. I should be wishing you success calculating the probabilities of your joke activating the hypothalamus supranuclear pathways of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, in your audience.

    Unfortunately I fear, while theoretical physicists can show using M-Theory, that the universe is made up of 11 dimensions which vibrate along a multi-planed axis in accordance with string theory and prove that all matter and energy is one, by way of entanglement theory, which in turn explains the big bang and construction of the universe, as a natural consequence of the laws of physics and not the work of a creator God. I am still not convinced science is at a sufficiently advanced state, to render your joke, in the slightest bit funny.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2012
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  8. Snoetje

    Snoetje Well-Known Member

    There are enough nerds in the world. They're even popular on tv now and among clowns. And so do the science jokes.
     
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  9. The Princess of Bozonia

    The Princess of Bozonia Administrator Staff Member

    I had a good theoretical physics joke to share here, but found it only worked for a spherical chicken in a vacuum.
     
  10. tim

    tim Have red nose, will travel

    They all laughed at Christopher Columbus
    When he said the world was round
    They all laughed when Edison recorded sound

    They all laughed at Wilbur and his brother
    When they said that man could fly
    They told Marconi
    Wireless was a phony
    It’s the same old cry

    They laughed at me wanting you
    Said I was reaching for the moon
    But ooo, you came through
    And now they’ll have to change their tune

    They all said we never could be happy
    They laughed at us and how!
    But ho, ho, ho!
    Who’s got the last laugh now?

    They all laughed at Rockefeller Center
    Now they’re fighting to get in

    They all laughed at Whitney and his cotton gin

    They all laughed at Fulton and his steamboat
    Hershey and his chocolate bar

    Ford and his Lizzie
    Kept the laughers busy
    That’s how people are

    They laughed at me wanting you
    Said it would be, "Hello, goodbye."
    But oooo, you came through
    Now they’re eating humble pie

    They all said we’d never get together
    Darling, let’s take a bow
    For ho, ho, ho!
    Who’s got the last laugh?
    He, hee, hee!
    Let’s at the past laugh
    Ha, ha, ha!
    Who’s got the last laugh now?
     
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  11. Did Oxygen and Potassium have good chemistry between them? It was OK.
    Do you get it, do you get it? Oxygen and Potassium, O, K? OK? Oh forget it. I think this joke needs another element.

    What did Potassium say when he saw Oxygen with Magnesium? “Oh my God!”
    Did you get it? Do you get it? Oxygen and Magnesium together? Oh My God! OMg Oxygen and Magnesium = OMg! No? Alright lets add another element.

    Oxygen asked Magnesium, do you know the chemical symbol for Sodium? Magnesium said, “Na”.
    Wow somebody laughed! Check out Brain Box in the corner there everybody. Somebody knew “Na”, is the chemical symbol for Sodium. Well this next one's just for you then Brain Box.

    Was it funny when two bits of Nitrogen got together with Oxygen? NO.
    Do you get it? 2 Nitrogen 1 Oxygen, Nitrous Oxide, NO, laughing gas, was it funny? Yes? No? Oh forget it.
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2012
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  12. Freckles McFinigin

    Freckles McFinigin New Member

    If Danny Light tries to tell another joke, somebody call the Polonium Lithium Cerium!!!!
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2012
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  13. British scientists lead the world in advanced theoretical physics. Not since Albert Einstein announced E=mc2 has there been such as leap forward in the advancement of human knowledge. British scientists have recently announced the discovery of the Rapunzel number. Forget cures for cancer, this is what science should really be doing.

    Another British scientist announced, "I wont sleep untill I find a cure for insomnia".
     
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  14. The sum of human knowledge, took another step forward this week. We now have confirmation of the discovery of an elemental particle, the Higgs Boson. Since we are now sure it actually exists, can we all agree to stop risking confusion on that question, by stopping calling it the "God particle"?

    Ooops, maybe I spoke too soon. Apparently, the Higgs Boson was put there by Satan to confuse humanity.
     
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  15. There really is a big difference between men and women. A vas deferens !
     
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  16. Jeff the Magic Man

    Jeff the Magic Man Active Member

    does anyone know what you get from mixing Barium, Carbon, Oxygen and Nitrogen?


    Ba-C-O-N. BaCON!
     
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  17. Jeff the Magic Man

    Jeff the Magic Man Active Member

    Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, BATMAN!

    ( or as chemists say, "sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, BATMAN!" )
     
  18. Freckles McFinigin

    Freckles McFinigin New Member

    Who’s Got the Last Laugh Now?
    By: Tim the Clown (as adapted by Carl Quist)

    They all laughed at Christopher Columbus
    When he said the world was round!
    They all laughed when Edison recorded sound!

    They all laughed at Wilbur and his brother
    When they said that man could fly!
    They told Marconi
    Wireless was a phony!
    It’s the same old cry!

    They laughed at us nerds,
    Thought we were absurd! But we came like a typhoon!
    And now they’ll have to change their tune!

    They all said we never could show!
    They laughed at us and how!
    But ho, ho, ho!
    Who’s got the last laugh now?

    They all laughed at Rockefeller Center;
    Now they’re fighting to get in!

    They all laughed at Whitney and his cotton gin!

    They all laughed at Fulton and his steamboat;
    Hershey and his chocolate bar!

    Ford and his Lizzie
    kept the laughers busy!
    That’s how people are.

    They laughed at us few!
    They wouldn’t let it fly!
    But ooh, we came through;
    Now they’re eating humble pie!

    They all said we’d never win!
    Friends, let’s take a bow!
    Ho, ho, ho!
    Who’s got the last laugh?
    Hee, hee, hee!
    Let’s all laugh at them!
    Ha, ha, ha!
    Who’s got the last laugh now?
     
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  19. I'm a poet and did not know it, although my feet are Longfellows
     
  20. Freckles McFinigin

    Freckles McFinigin New Member

    What weapon do you get from Potassium, Nickel, and Iron?




    A KNiFe
     
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