I just finished reading the fifth book in the "learning to count" trilogy. Our new librarian is very polite. I think she is Italian. I've just taken a book back that was months overdue but, rather than charging me, she just said, "That's-a-fine." So I thanked her and walked out. A man walked into a library and asks for a book on cliffhangers the librarian says "........... A woman walked into a library and asked for a book on euphemisms. So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it. Man goes into a library and asks for a book about French War Heroes. The librarian tells him to try the fiction section. An American walked into a library and asks for a book about wars. The librarian tells him, "No, you'll only loose it". I wrote a book on penguins. With hindsight, I realise that paper would have been easier. I'm going to write a step by step guide to falling down stairs. A midget waddles into the library and asks, "Have you got a book on Irony?" The librarian says, "Yeah, mate, it's on the top shelf." I've just published a book on DIY. It's blank and comes with a free pen. I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: "Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?" A man walks into a library and asks for a book on back ache. The librarian says, "It's the one with a broken spine". A library walks into a man and dyslexia for a book on asks.. Why burn one religious book and cause a problem when we can burn every religious book and solve one. (Actually, that's not a joke, more a solution). I've written a book called, "101 Ways To Revive The High Street". It's available on Kindle from Monday.