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Doctor, doctor

Discussion in 'Joke Forum' started by Harry the Ridiculous, Apr 6, 2011.

  1. Harry the Ridiculous

    Harry the Ridiculous Professor of the Ridiculous

    A Clown goes into a Dr.s office and says, Doctor, Doctor can you help me, I see Spots. The Dr. says "Here put these Glasses on. The Clown says thanks and starts to walk out of the office. "Wait" says the Dr. "How are the Glasses, you still seeing the spots?" "The Clown looks at him and says "Yes I still see spots, but they're much clearer now"
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 4
  2. LuvLee

    LuvLee Well-Known Member

    I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

    The nurse starts with certain basics.
    'How much do you weigh?' She asks. '170,' I say.
    The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 196.
    The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 10," I say..
    The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'6".
    She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.
    "Of course it's high!" I scream. "When I came in here I was tall and
    slender! Now I'm short and fat".

    She put me on Prozac.........................What a jerk! ;)
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2011
    • Laugh Laugh x 1
  3. Shell Belle

    Shell Belle New Member

    A clown goes into the doctor and gets a horrific diagnosis:

    "Doctor, doctor! Can I have a second opinion?”
    Doctor says; “Sure! Come back tomorrow!”
     
  4. Cardboard

    Cardboard New Member

    doctor, doctor, i feel like everyone disagrees with me. the doctor said "no they don't"
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 1
  5. Barry Daft (Mr. B. Daft)

    Barry Daft (Mr. B. Daft) Old Bucket Spitter

    I got a splitting headache and feelings of nausea that wouldn't go away. I worried that I might have contracted ebola.

    It turned out to be just the next door neighbours playing their new U2 album.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  6. Pookie

    Pookie Well-Known Member

    Please!!! Fix the damned laugh button!!
     
  7. Loopy

    Loopy Well-Known Member

    An older woman is patiently waiting for her husband to come out of the doctors office after her husband had just experienced a mild heart attack. The door opens and the Doctor exits and approaches the woman, is he going to be ok she ask the doctor replies he'll make it but it was a close one, is there anything I can do to make him live longer she ask, the Doctor replies yes there is, just perform these three simple task 1. cook three square meals a day for him 2. don't start any arguments or fights with him and 3. make love to him whenever he wants to. when the man and woman return to their car and get in the husband ask's so what did the doctor tell you, she answer's, you have two weeks to live.
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2014
    • Thanks Thanks x 3
  8. Barry Daft (Mr. B. Daft)

    Barry Daft (Mr. B. Daft) Old Bucket Spitter

    Laughter is the best medicine. But if they die, it's best to stop immediately.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  9. Pookie

    Pookie Well-Known Member

    Seriously, who do I have to sleep with to get that laugh button fixed???
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1

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