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Dear Mr. Daft

Discussion in 'Joke Forum' started by Pinkberry, Nov 28, 2015.

  1. Dear Ms. Toodles,

    If you want to know why your dog prefers a swim in the pool over a bath in the tub, the answer is simple. He's a lap dog.

    Best,
    Clerihew-Doodle
     
  2. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    We have decided to scrub our plans to make soap.

    Sincerely,
    Sir Toony
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 1
  3. Dear Mr. Yinvit,

    Sorry to hear your dry cleaning business is having financial trouble. Hope everything gets ironed out.

    Best,
    Clerihew-Doodle
     
  4. Dear Senator Bonkers,

    The Queen's daughter is not accepting guests at the moment as she is on her way to speak to the manager of the local Fotomat. That's right, the Princess is trying to find her prints.

    Best,
    Clerihew-Doodle
     
  5. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    The teacher said I needed a rough draft, so I did the assignment on sandpaper.

    Yours,
    Sir Toony
     
    • Creative Creative x 1
  6. Dear Captain Schnickelfrits,

    During his trip abroad, my barber thought he'd curry favor by handing out scissors to the hairy Krishnas.

    Best,
    Clerihew-Doodle
     
  7. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    I was floored by the number of options available for new rugs.

    Yours,
    Sir Toony
     
  8. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    It is tearable the way it rips so easily.

    Yours,
    Sir Toony
     
    • Creative Creative x 1
  9. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    • Laugh Laugh x 2
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  10. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    The band instructor realized it was time to drum up some new business.

    Sincerely,
    Sir Toony
     
  11. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    You can get more bang for your buck if you let your kids take drum lessons.

    Sincerely,
    Sir Toony
     
  12. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    Avoid wearing a white collars shirt when you have a blue collar job.

    Sincerely,
    Sir Toony
     
  13. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    I saw you sawing logs during the lumberjack competition.

    Sincerely,
    Sir Toony
     
  14. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    Playing roulette is confusing because the odds are even.

    Sincerely,
    Sir Toony
     
    • Creative Creative x 1
  15. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    They asked if I take credit cards, I said, "sure". Funny thing is that a few minutes later, they wanted their card back.

    Sincerely,
    Sir Toony
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 1
  16. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    Solving the unemployment problem is going to take a lot of work.

    Sincerely,
    Sir Toony
     
  17. Dear Clerihew-Doodle,

    I’ve never piloted a helicopter before, but where’s the harm in giving it a whirl..!

    Best,
    Bonko
     
  18. Dear Otto Spaetzle,

    We thought your friend, the DJ, was a pretty cool cat--but then he threw up his meow mix!

    Please refund,
    Wigso
     
  19. Sir Toony Van Dukes

    Sir Toony Van Dukes Well-Known Member

    Dear Mr. Daft,

    They accused me of plagiarism, their words, not mine.

    Sincerely,
    Sir Toony
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 2
  20. Dear Admiral Quackenbush,

    I tried to find a replacement for your TV control device, but the chance they're still making that model is remote.

    Best,
    Booboo Yonkers
     

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