I do not know if I out this in the right forum thread or not and if I did I am sorry. My name is Travis Good and as you can see from a previous thread I did try to commit suicide a few years back when I got back from Afghanistan because of PTSD and survivors guilt. My wife, than girlfriend, saved me and helped me heal along with therapy. I now have two beautiful boys ages 4 and 2. None of that would not have been possible without the love and warmth of someone special. But since I started clowning my life has changed even more. I find my gaze widening so I can see the beauty in almost everything. It is spiritual and just plain nice. My moods have been better and I am just more pleasant to be around. Since I was discharged honorably from the military after 16 years I sought a career that would not involve me being around a lot of people so that I could isolate myself. I chose to be an embalmer. That is right I became a mortician. There will be no one around to yell at me or make me feel mad, sad, glad or troubled. And if they did than I would run away screaming. Clowning has also improved my confidence so that I can be around more people and have fun. And I do not have to have the makeup on anymore when I am out like I used to when I started. I can now and I do feel that I am a productive and valued member of society again. Clowning has also improved my art of embalming. I can now apply the restorative arts like hair and makeup more efficiently. My attitude change has become one that now I am actually working in the office with the families and helping them out. SO I guess I was wondering if clowning has changed any of your lives like it has mine?