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Blonde Joke

Discussion in 'Joke Forum' started by Love, Mar 23, 2011.

  1. miss-daisy

    miss-daisy New Member

    A smart blond was walking through a forest and came upon a beautiful meadow. In the middle of the meadow, a dumb blond was sitting in a row boat.

    Smart blond - "You know, it's dumb blonds like you that give all of us blonds a bad rap!"

    Dumb blond - "Oh ya!? Well, if I could swim I would come right over there and teach you a lesson!"
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 1
  2. LuvLee

    LuvLee Well-Known Member

    Driving Miss Daisy crazy.....
     
  3. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    A couple of actual (blondish) service calls:

    Samsung Electronics
    Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
    Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
    Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that
    I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
    Telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the Number for Jack?'
    Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
    *
    *
    Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
    Customer: 'OK.'
    Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
    Customer: 'No.'
    Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
    Customer: 'No.'
    Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
    Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
    Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can
    You see the 'OK' button displayed?'
    Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?':cry::cool:
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 2
  4. LuvLee

    LuvLee Well-Known Member

    O.M.G., AND TO THINK I GAVE BIRTH TO TWO BLONDS, (I am so sorry kids).
    I can't explain it either as your father has black hair...(I was a blond up to the age of
    3 or 4 and I still have the 10% going for me). Some things just don't figure.....hmmmm:pie:
     
  5. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons nor prior experience. She mounts the horse
    unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion

    It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blond begins to slide from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious of its slipping rider.

    Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blond attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

    Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over

    As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune.........

    Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

    And you thought all they did was say Hello.:pie::splatter:
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 3
    • Groan Groan x 1
  6. Plywood

    Plywood New Member

    Oh man, that's a bad one.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  7. LuvLee

    LuvLee Well-Known Member

    Sometimes they need to be bad in order to be goooood. What color was the horse?
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2011
  8. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    Actually it was a light colored mule.:seltzer:
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 2
  9. LuvLee

    LuvLee Well-Known Member

    In other words, It was blonde?
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 2
  10. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
    He sat down next to a blonde at the bar
    And stared up at the TV.
    The 10 PM news was coming on.
    The news crew was covering the story
    Of a man on the ledge of a large building
    Preparing to jump.

    The blonde looked at Bob and said,
    "Do you think he'll jump?"
    Bob said,
    "You know, I bet he'll jump."
    The blonde replied,
    "Well, I bet he won't."
    Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said,
    "You're on!"

    Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar,
    The guy on the ledge
    Did a swan dive off the building,
    Falling to his death.
    The blonde was very upset,
    But willingly handed her $20 to Bob.
    "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

    Bob replied,
    "I can't take your money..
    I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news,
    So I knew he would jump."
    The blonde replied,
    "I did, too,
    But I didn't think he'd do it again."

    Bob took the money.:cry::seltzer:
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 4
  11. LuvLee

    LuvLee Well-Known Member

    Maybe blond's don't get a bum rap after-all;).
     
  12. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    Computer helpdesk: "Good day. How may I help you?"

    "Hi. I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it."

    Helpdesk" "What's on your monitor now ma'am?"

    My teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for me in the dollar store.":cry:
     
  13. LuvLee

    LuvLee Well-Known Member

    Cute, cute, cute, but VERY BLONDE.
     
  14. Yin Yang

    Yin Yang Active Member

    blond died her hair brown because she was tired of being picked on, She was driving along the countryside when she got a bright idea and stopped at a nearby farm. she said to the farmer "If i can tell you how many sheep you have in total can I have one?" "ok" said the farmer, so she quickly counted them and said 91. The farmer looked around astonished and said "alright take one" As she was walking back to her car the farmer said "If i can guess your natural hair colour can i have my dog back?"
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 3
  15. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    I think that many times blonds DO get a bad rap for attempting to do good things. During a bad storm the other night, a blond stopped a truck several times to tell a truck driver that he was gradually losing his load. After the third time, the driver was able to compose himself enough to tell her that he was driving a salt truck.:cool::pie::splatter:
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 1
  16. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    “I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 1
  17. Gladman

    Gladman Well-Known Member

    A cop pulls over a car and behind the wheel is a hot blonde. Cop walks up and asks the blonde for her drivers license, so the blonde grabs her over sized purse and fumbles around in it for a bit, looks at the cop and explains she can't seem to find it. Cop says we'll do you have any photo ID with you? She goes back into her purse and pulls out her makeup compact, opens it and looks at the mirror, smiles and hands it to the cop saying yes this is me. Cop looks at it for a minute with a startled look and hands it back saying, sorry I didn't realize you're also a cop, drive careful and have a nice day.
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 3
  18. WillyNilly

    WillyNilly Member

    What do you call a smart blonde?
    ...
    Golden retriever.
    WN
     
    • Laugh Laugh x 1

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