Discussion in 'The Clown Forum' started by Shoestring, Apr 20, 2009.
I do that too. And then when they return I say, "Did everything come out okay?"
One day, an elderly woman was at the doctors office. (NOT the end of the joke...please keep reading; it get's funnier.) As the doctor was giving her her checkup, she proudly told him "My farts are all silent and they don't stink! As a matter of fact, while I've been sitting here, I've let out 3 of them!" At the end of the checkup, the doctor gave her a prescription for some pills.
A month later, she came back into the office. "Doctor, I don't know what's in those pills you gave me, but now my farts stink horribly!" The doctor then said "Ok, that takes care of your sinuses, now we can work on your hearing..."
I thought you had to spread Peanut butter not wipe it.
Did you hear about the constipated mathamatician?
He worked it out with a pencil!
I say that too. People just don't appreciate it as much as they should though!
Ha ha! I just noticed the ad near the top of my page here. How appropriate! (GIGGLE - SNORT!!!!)
Violet, did you push the button?
I kept pressing it but nothing happened!
(I finally realized I was pressing the button on my screenshot)
Sigh...I never get to hear the end of the joke...one good thing, I guess - my computer office doesn't smell bad!
I'd like to join this thread for some more bathroom humor,
but I have to go!
...I mean I have to run!
...I mean I have to get out of the house!
I am confused now, and don’t know what type of peanut butter I am. spread on, chunky, or that old fashion glob. I try to be smooth but most of the time I think I am a glob
Jerry Lewis apparently has long employed a nose picking bit.
What would farts sound like if rectums had lisps?
You mean they DON'T??????
Rather appropriately, given the nature of the story I told on this thread, "Barry Daft", turns out to be an anagram of "Farty Bard".
I have got to tell what happened the other day. Me and my little 3 year old nephew went into the BP station. I got him a coke, chips and bubble gum. We were behind 4 people waiting to pay with a man behind us. My nephew says Hant Eny. I said what baby. He looks at me and loudly states, I farted. I couldn't help the belly laughter. The women were shocked. But God love him the man behind me laughed so hard He had tears in his eyes. The sweet innocence of childhood.
This reminds me of a joke:
Husband, "You shouldn't use toilet paper to blow you nose it'll make it swell up"[SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Wife, "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Husband, "I guarantee it's true"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Wife, "You must be joking! What gave you such a silly idea?"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Husband, "Well just look what it did to your ass."[/SIZE]
This is the Ultimate at Bathroom Humor
i love it and i got the mind of a 10 year old
whats bathroom humor???
It must be Easter or something because dead threads keep getting resurrected.
To spare the blushes of the forum members, who find the idea of bathroom humour difficult, I shall explain to you in what I think might be Japanese. (although I have no way of knowing for sure).
(動) おならをする, 屁をこく（俗語）(名) おなら, 屁（俗語）
I am hopeing somewhere amongst that jumble of worms that you might recognise as being writing, you might see the word "f**t". Failing that and for a better description try reading my first post on this thread. #31 (permalink). This leads me quite handily to something I have been meaning to say for some time.
I thought that was quite a good post. I talked about my thoughts on the subject matter at hand, I shared some of my material and went on to talk about my performance methods and working with teens. It received a reasonable amount of thanks and laughs so I believe that many of you also enjoyed that post. But believe it or not, because of that post, I became the subject of the first of a number of attempts to silence my voice on this forum. No explanation, no warning, no nothing, suddenly I was unable to log on. The reason? Somebody was worried people could be offended by my sugestion that Jesus might have told a fart joke. The idea that your omnipotant, all powerfull, lord and creator of the whole universe, might fart, was too shocking a concept to contemplate and in your anger and to spare you the blushes, I got the elbow.
The idea of Jesus telling a fart joke is such a unpalatable blasphemy to American christian clowns??? It is ridiculous you even venturing to call yourselves clowns when, you can allow yourselves to get all uptight and uppity about such a things. Well you are going to hate this because it turns out, I am right,
YOUR GOD LOVES A GOOD OLD FART, FROM TIME TO TIME!
I believe I can say that with complete impunity because it states as much quite clearly, on at least half a dozen occaisions, within the pages of the bible. Not only does he fart, he tells us what they sound like too. Do you think I'm kidding?
Isaiah 16:11 Wherefore my bowels shall sound like a harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh
While some of you people might consider the audible cleansing of ones bowels of residual gasses to be a social taboo, God declares a musical sweetness of tone when he does it! Now that to me, sounds exactly like the lame old joke, everyone has told. From the recent biblical study I have been conducting on this matter, I can put my hand on my heart and declare with all certainty, that not only does God fart, he actually derives satisfaction, relief and pleasure from doing so and I am delighted to note, in a manner not very different to my own. I can also happily direct you to a bizzare and completely extraordinary verse in the Bible where a fart has been deliberately witheld to demonstrate displeasure! Isaiah 63:15
So next time somebody complains about your farty emissions, quote them St. Paul, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 and explain to them you do this to praise the Lord.
:music:It's all about knowing your audience.:splatter::music::music::splatter:
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